With Age Comes a Change in Perspective; Thoughts From Me (and another Joni)

The Joni Mitchell song Both Sides Now has always been a favorite. For me, it describes how we come to view the world differently as we live longer and our life experiences teach us to see both sides. The good and the bad of a matter, unlike in the naivety of our early years when we may have only seen the ideal. But she veers from letting the song become too disheartening and shifts it back to the idea that perhaps these more optimistic illusions stay with us because we just don’t have it all figured out. Pretty insightful, being how she wrote this song in her early 20s. “Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day.” Yes, with each passing day we lose youth, vigor, and innocence while exhausting our precious time here on earth. Oh, but the insight, knowledge, and love we gain along the way.

It’s been nearly a year since I turned 60 and at the time I didn’t ponder much as to what that would feel like.  The year was so busy with retiring and finding a home in a new state that 60 just kind of crept up.  I won’t pretend I was thrilled at the prospect of having this pivotal birthday upon me but what I remember feeling mostly at that time was happiness.  My family would be coming together to celebrate which felt like the most important aspect of the occasion.  Perhaps gratitude is also something we gain by living every day. 

The reality of turning 60, which by all accounts is the end of the beginning if not the beginning of the end, did not hit me all at once. Instead, it continues to nudge me day by day. There’s the double take in the mirror when I notice yet another crease, spot, or droop. My workouts require so much more output for less gain. And just taking a bit longer to get out of bed each morning. These things are real and remind me that time is not exactly on my side. Although I hear it said that 60 is the new 40, the math hasn’t changed, and unless I live until the age of 120, I am well beyond middle age.

Yet, I have also found freedom with age. Yes, freedom from the time restrictions of work and raising children, but also freedom of mind. Free from others’ judgments and expectations. In this phase of my life, I have finally come to realize who I am. I am learning what brings me happiness and weeding out unpleasantries and the people who do not nurture my heart and soul. With this knowledge, I feel as though I have something valuable to share with the world. So if I were to add another verse to Ms. Mitchell’s song, I may include that I have looked at age from both sides now. What I know for sure is that it is only by the grace of God that I am still here in good health and blessed with wonderful family and friends to share this time with. I will embrace it!