Tuesday’s Ten: 10 Lessons I Wish I Knew at 30

❖ There are phases in our lives when we are meant to be alone.

❖ I’m gonna miss this.

Take a listen to this insightful country song by Trace Adkins. It describes how we’re always looking ahead to what’s next, forgetting to enjoy the here and now, which we might end up missing later. Imagine how much happier we’d be if we really got that in every phase of life as it’s happening! I wish I had heard this message during times when I was feeling overwhelmed as a single mother working full time. Because those years held some of my most cherished memories, and as the song poignantly warns, I wish those days hadn’t gone by so fast.

❖ Not everyone is meant to stay. Let go of people who drain your energy.

❖ Have a plan B.

Most of us have a picture in our head of how our lives will unfold. I was pursuing that vision when in my 30s, life took me in a different direction and I felt unprepared financially. Although I was doing some bookkeeping for family businesses but had no real clear career path at the time. Mostly, I was a stay-at-home mom, which had suited our family. Fortunately, my bookkeeping experience helped me land a good job—one I genuinely enjoyed, even if it wasn’t something I’d ever dreamed of doing. It’s important to have a backup plan, whether it be further education or a clear career goal, even if it will be put on hold for a time.

❖ Compound interest is real—and powerful. Start early.

❖ Early skincare.

Ever since I was young and taught the importance of washing my face before bed. I have since made it a nightly habit. In my 20s and 30s, my regimen also included ointments like Retin-A for my occasional break outs. If only I had known the importance of daily sunscreen in those days! It was only later, as I began to age, that I started to get more serious about skincare. I started to include some professional procedures, including facials, peels, and microdermabrasion. I wish I understood the benefits of doing this starting at a younger age.

❖ Make time for parents and grandparents; their absence will be heartbreaking some day.

❖ Debt robs your freedom.

Debt is a normal part of adult life; many people in their 30s have mortgages and car payments. However, too much debt, especially from high-interest credit cards, can create a cycle that’s difficult to escape. I was excited when I got my credit card and enjoyed the convenience it provided, but I eventually felt trapped. Debt is sneaky, giving a false sense of security with its “buy now, pay later” approach. I soon realized that instead of building my future, I was paying for my past and saving was a better way to obtain the things I wanted. I still use a credit card today, but only for the airline miles and I always pay the full balance each month to avoid interest.

❖ Skip the suntan; your 60-year- old skin will thank you.

❖ Learn to negotiate.

Entering the corporate world after a number of years, I underestimated the value I could bring to a company. So grateful to be hired I accepted the starting salary offered and zero vacation days for the first year which ended up being a struggle. I realized later that this was something I should have negotiated. At 30, I didn’t realize that not negotiating was actually costing me more than just money—it was costing me confidence. I used to think that asking for more would make me seem greedy, difficult, or ungrateful. But the truth is, companies expect it.Over the years, I earned promotions and raises, but I didn’t realize that learning to negotiate would teach me to value myself—and that sense of self-worth carries into every part of life.