7 Ways I am Learning to Lighten Up in Midlife

It has always seemed to me that we live our lives in chapters and turning 60 began a new one for me. This stage seems like the perfect time to shed some negative behaviors, chill out and live lighter. Tough circumstances in life will continue to occur and struggle is inevitable but some things that weigh heavy on us are within our control to lift. Changing a thought process is never easy but I have been working on some ways to take steps in the right direction.

Stop Overthinking

For most of my life, I have been what is known as an overthinker.  Not to the detriment where it causes serious anxiety or depression as it does for some, but just enough to put me in the chronic worrier category.  Overthinking can have a snowball effect and before you know it things are dancing around in your head that was never part of the situation.  For me, overthinking is best explained as creating problems that weren’t even there. Self-awareness is the first step and I have come a long way in changing this mindset.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

There is a reason that almost everyone on the planet is familiar with this phrase and there is a bestselling book on it.  The concept is so simple yet the results can be a life changer.  I am taking the time to stop and put small annoyances into perspective creating a more relaxed and less stressful life.  Most of the time the small stuff doesn’t really affect the big picture at all. And according to the author of the book, it’s all small stuff anyway. 

No Regrets

Now is the time to stop wondering “what if”.  We can always play different scenarios in our minds where the outcome is better than what we are currently living.  No more asking “What if I would have said this?” or  “What if I would have done that?”  The truth is it doesn’t matter.  Regret has to be the most unproductive emotion there is.   Perhaps a different decision would have resulted in a better situation but it could have also led to a worse one. Better to look forward and stop speculating as to what could have been.

Don’t Engage in Gossip

Do you know someone who just loves to talk about other people?  They will take any opportunity to work it into the conversation.  It is easy to get caught up in the gossip but I often feel bad for it soon after.  I also believe that it is a pretty safe bet the person who loves bad-mouthing others to me is doing the same to me with someone else.

Surround Myself With Good People

This becomes more important to me as I get older and grow more sure of who I am and what makes me happy. Positive energy is contagious! It is time to say goodbye to the negative Nellies in my life and focus on the people that make me think, laugh, and feel relevant. In my younger years, I valued a larger circle of friends but I now choose quality over quantity. Leaving the drama behind for a more meaningful connection.

Living Simpler

Every day I find myself needing less and less by way of possessions. My goals have shifted to a less complicated lifestyle where a fancy car or large house has little meaning. We are spending more vacation time visiting family or embarking on short, lazy road trips to visit a casino or play a round of golf. I have experienced a lot in my life but I am now embracing simple living, being content with what I have, and finding joy in the small things.

Go with the flow

I have spent a great deal of time in my life swimming against the current and trying to control the tide so things turn out as I expect them to. After many years, I am finally learning it’s better to just go with the flow. What does it mean to “go with the flow?” One way to define it would be the ability to change course when things don’t go as planned. In a, whatever happens, happens mindset you learn to surrender to that you cannot control. As with anything it takes practice and I have to remind myself often to let go.